If it Sounds Disgusting, it Probably is

Today is a sad day. This will be the last post you will ever read from me. More importantly, this is the last opportunity you have to write a comment letting me know how funny my jokes actually are. Go ahead, be painfully truthful. You guys are in luck, though; this blog post will be helpful to those thinking about going vegetarian, as I will talk extensively about some of the vegetarian foods I really enjoyed over the two week period and will more than likely eat again. To balance this post, I will also describe some of the foods that were too painful to eat without meat and some meat substitutes I will probably never touch even if I had to.

            Before I get into some of the foods I ate, I want to talk about the results of going vegetarian. I had expectedly loss some body fat (eye test), but surprisingly gained weight (about 1 pound) and muscle tone (again, eye test). I wont post pictures; this blog is not that type of website. As far as gaining weight goes, I was just shocked that I hadn’t lost weight. My theory is that I overcompensated for the lack of meat by eating significantly more than usual, and so I put on a bit of weight. Also, if you’ve read my previous blog post, you know that another reason why I ate more was simply sheer hunger, as vegetarian foods are less filling.

 I went online to find an explanation for gaining muscle weight while on a vegetarian diet. This takes us back to NoMeatAthlete, the blog that contains oodles of research aiming to dispatch the notion that vegetarians can’t be athletes. Great word, by the way, oodles. A gold star for the first person who uses that word in a comment. In one of Frazier’s articles, “The skinny vegan’s guide to gaining muscle,” he states the simple mantra that I have been using to gain muscle weight: eat more calories and lift weights. This is what I have been doing for several months now, and I am just glad that going vegetarian did not hinder my progress. To sum up the last few lines, a lack of meat is not the reason behind the muscle. As I think back to the two weeks, I realize that I can attribute the musculature to the new workouts I have been doing and the basketball pickup games I have been playing.

Ok, so now to the nuts and beans (the vegetarian spin on meat and potatoes, for those who haven’t read the first blog post) of this conclusive post, the actual food I have been eating. I’d like to begin by describing my usual vegetarian breakfast, which is thoroughly tasty. In other words, breakfast was the biggest meal for me where I did not miss meat, as the meal was certainly satisfying enough. It usually consisted of oatmeal with some brown sugar and raisins, three eggs, and breakfast potatoes. Another option was an omelet with cheese and veggies and a whole-wheat bagel lathered with peanut butter. One more combination I enjoyed was avocado with eggs along with fruit, yogurt and granola. Of the many benefits of early workouts, one of the best perks is the solid appetite they build up. This allows me to eat a solid amount of food in the morning before the rest of my day begins.

One thing about being vegetarian is that it gives you an excuse to eat pizza. Well, sorta. In the Bronco, pizza is readily available and a quick option for those in a hurry. Before I went vegetarian, I thought of Margherita pizza as a mockery of real, pepperoni pizza. I would feel awful for those who had to eat that type of pizza even though meat specialty pizzas were available. Oh, how I have changed. One fateful Thursday at 1:38 pm I was running late for my chemistry class that started in exactly seven minutes. I hustled over to Benson to grab a quick bite and was immediately stopped cold in my tracks by mobs of people. The lines were the opposite of this sentence. Long. I scurried through the tables, looking over the crowds to see what the specials were. Of course, the vegetarian alternatives were unappetizing, as they contained soy imitations of meat. I reluctantly dawdled on over to the Bronco where I saw the pizza line was empty. They were out of cheese, so the only option was the abhorred margherita. Hunger clouded my judgment and I timidly said the words I never thought I’d say to the cashier: “One slice of margherita, please.” I munched on the slice carefully, skeptically, and remorsefully, but with each passing bite, I found out it wasn’t horrible. It actually was delicious in its own, cheesy way. Hell, I’d order it again if I needed to.

So, margherita pizza was a success and a vegetarian breakfast is very doable. Now, lets shift gears and go in a different direction. Downhill. Two foods that I absolutely detested eating meatless were salads and burgers.

There isn’t much to say about veggie burgers. Obviously, they are infamous for the unpalatable texture and the lack of satisfaction. I noticed, though, that they are great conversation starters. I guess that is one positive thing about these weak excuses of meat.

Now, on to salads. To ensure I got a complete meal, I would often incorporate hardboiled eggs, beans, tofu, cottage cheese, spinach, quinoa, and nuts with the classic lettuce, vegetables, and dressing. If it sounds disgusting, it really is. It was probably the healthiest thing I ate in my life from a nutritional standpoint, but it was just awful on the taste buds. There are obviously a lot of things in there that should never mix. There is a silver lining, though. When my two weeks ended, I ate the same salad but substituted some of the high protein components (ex. nuts, tofu) with chicken, and it was pretty good. Matter of fact, its what I ate for lunch today. 

Ok, so now you’ve seen the good, the bad, and the ugly faces of vegetarianism. Will I ever do it again? I think I will when I get fat, old, and need to lose some lbs. If I could go two weeks without meat at 18 years old, I can certainly be vegetarian for longer periods of time when I am older. Did I feel more energy? I don’t think I can answer that question with much confidence, as I chose a bad period of time to experiment. Maybe I will try a different set of weeks and see how they go. To summarize, I do not think vegetarianism changed anything at all in regards to my physiology, probably because I did it for such a short period of time. If you think the experiment I tried was pretty cool, I urge you to try something like this by yourself. Cut out dairy for a month, or only eat McDonalds for three days (don’t do that, please. It was just a joke). Do something you don’t think you can; try something that will test yourself. Step out of your comfort zone, and you’ll learn more about yourself than you ever imagined. Put your foot on the gas pedal and go somewhere you’ve never gone before.